Flowers and Fresh Love.

Hello future brainiac. What's new? Over a month has passed and I've written nothing. I feel terrible about it. Do you feel terrible, too? I hope not.

I've been a bit lazy / complacent about correspondence because my perception has been in a constant state of flux and I haven't felt that I can weigh in on any one topic, perspective, or feeling, with a definitive viewpoint. Definition is probably overrated anyway. Do you wanna know why? Boys. Or more to the point, one boy in particular. I'm totally ga-ga over the cutest Frenchman you could ever hope to meet, and it scares the hell out of me.

Relationships really get me nutty. There's so much pessimism and doubt floating around out there in regards to couplings, it becomes really hard to just close your ears and let what you've got going be it's own thing. I hear all these voices saying guys always cheat, women are always overbearing and jealous, everyone's suspicious, you'll never sustain passion..... ahhhh!!! Turn it off, TURN IT OFF!! I feel like I may be finally reaching a state of equilibrium, at least for the time being, so I write to you my friend!

I'm in Portland at the present moment, and it's exploding with flowers and green things. It's so damn beautiful here, and it smells amazing! If it wasn't so boring I might consider moving back. I was thinking about leaving Paris. The dollar situation is so grim, it's hard for me to afford living over there right now, and teaching myself French has proven to be very difficult. Now that I'm gone I'm totally missing it, and the summer was just getting good when I flew out, so I've decided to keep at it and have faith that the money issues will work themselves out, as they so often do. Also, I'm going to start speaking French like I really think I know what I'm doing and filter out all the giggling from the recipients of my broken dialog. I hope that helps. It will be a good exercise for my ego at the very least.

How's the baby coming? Do you know what flavor it will be, or is that a surprise? What else is new?

Bisous.